If he makes you happy and you want him in your life, I would give it some serious thought and talk to him and see what arises. Explain how actions speak louder than words. If you feel like he continues to not make progress, I would explain that you need to make yourself and your future a priority. He moved back in with his mom to support her through the loss of his brother, and he stayed because it was cheaper while he completed his MBA.
Well it sounds like he does have some really good qualities and is more of a lost boy than a moocher. Actually, given the divorce rate, what lots of couples need. I feel your pain…. I do worry about having a family, he is But I have to say that it was totally worth the wait. I know I was getting antsy too, but he has moved slow throughout the whole relationship so I had to let him go at his pace.
Towards the end I pushed a little harder, not shoved, just through out a lot of hints. He asked what I wanted for my birthday, I said diamonds are nice…things like that. Just make sure to state your case, be honest about what you want and then let go adn let god…. I hope everythign works out for you!
He said he wants marriage and a family at some point, but I have no idea whether he wants it with me, or whether he wants it on my timeline. By waiting for a proposal from him which may never come I could be missing my last chance to have a happy family with someone else! Altho, I think deep down you may have your answer already. Just remember to take care of yourself in all this.
It is really not fair that you should have to sacrifice having a family just because your SO is confused. I would make sure that all of this is out on the table i. Seek out counseling, if the two of you would find it useful. Then maybe step back, but have a timeline for yourself for moving on, if necessary— sad as it is to think about: But there is definitely a timeline, we WILL be getting married in and getting a home in We already live together but we live in a new city by ourselves so kinda not the same thing.
Point being, I think you need to have a serious discussion about where things are going? If you are happy and he is happy then why not get engaged?
Find support, ask questions, swap stories, and follow brides planning real weddings here on Weddingbee. Closed Over 3yrs dating, no ring: Fiberoptic 7 years ago My bf and I have been dating for just over three years. JRL 7 years ago Wedding: Harmony 7 years ago He is 32 years old!! MissKitteh 7 years ago I totally understand how you feel. If you had a daughter, what would you tell her? Fiberoptic 7 years ago He moved back in with his mom to support her through the loss of his brother, and he stayed because it was cheaper while he completed his MBA.
July I feel your pain…. Eight6Eleven 7 years ago Wedding: August Maybe you really need to sit this guy down and tell him those exact words: Ambergris 7 years ago Fiberoptic: AzFlower 7 years ago Wedding: June He may be a wonderful man, but he may just not be that wonderful man for you. He later told me it was just work and life getting in the way, and he had to research rings. However the proposal came before I thought it would. I knew by the way he said it and the fact that I DO trust him that it was going to happen.
I would have lost faith in him and felt like he was lying to me. There are people that get pressured into marriage. Not just men, but also women who get caught up in the moment.
How Long Is Too Long to Wait for an Engagement Ring?
But it still happens. I would hate to have to tell my bf to propose to me by a certain date. I suggest you you stop giving him power over you.
You must do what will make you happy and what feels right. You clearly are very uncomfortable with this situation, so you must decide without any input from him If you want to continue down this road. He is well aware of the situation, so if you feel you are truly, truly ready to leave him over this…..
Just break up like this were any other deal breaker, and get on with your life. Know that you may or may not ever get married, but appreciate the time you have with him. Drop the wedding pressure and go be happy. And if not, oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Back then, ultimatums seemed like a great idea to me also. Trust me, they are overrated. While I was in a different position than you, here is how we came up with our timeline. We talked in the abstract— how many children we wanted 2 or 4 and the spacing of the children years and the oldest I was willing to have them All of which he said sounded reasonable— he wanted 2 or 4 too.
So if we had 4 at 35, 3 at 33, 2 at 31, we would have to have our first by And that would be the tightest possible spacing. Before having kids he wanted to be married for a year and own a house reasonable. So that would mean get pregnant at 28, so we have to get married by He also felt strongly about having a year long engagement. So to do everything the way he wanted, we would need to get engaged by Honestly, breaking down the conversation like that was the only thing that got the timeline going— he realized that we needed to get engaged soon or alter his life plan.
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I was with my Fiance for 6. I, like you, watched a ton of people meet each other and get married before we even got engaged. I had a walking letter, I had ultimatums, I had walking dates, my Fiance and I got in countless fights over me wanting to be engaged so bad, and there was so much crying and depression and jealously of other brides that it makes me sick to think that I was ever in that dark place.
And even when he found the walking letter the full story is in a previous post of mine and even though I was angry and I set up all these deadlines for myself and I promised that I would walk and I passed the time by painting my nails, waiting for a ring, and obsessively posting to the weddingbee boards, it never took away from the fact that I firmly believe that there is absolutely no possible way I could ever stumble through this crazy mess of a life without that guy by my side. Then why are you threatening to leave him?
You have the perfect opportunity since his sister just got married. But feel him out. Ask when he wants to see you in that white or polkadot, or whatever dress. Then, go sit by yourself some time the same week you do this. Honestly, go get some coffee by yourself and sit at a table with paper and write out everything you are feeling.leondumoulin.nl/language/short/attract-up-to-1000-dollars.php
How Long Is Too Long to Wait for an Engagement Ring? | CafeMom
Then take that piece of paper and throw it away. As corny as it sounds, it feels so good. Then take another piece of paper and write down anything, anything at all that interests you lately. Been wanting to take a yoga class? Meet-up groups for your dog? My relationship got better. My life got better. I was a lot happier and I was focussed on ways to improve myself instead of living in depression.
Believe it or not, my sudden interest in school got me a scholarship, which freed up my finances to go on a celebratory cruise, and I accidentally and unwittingly set myself up for the most awesome proposal story I ever could have imagined in my life! But after you find out what he has in mind, then drop the subject. Then find a hobby and distract yourself with something. Plenty of people also get hit by lightning or win the lottery. I was saying 32 is too old for him to be messing her about. She still has a good chance of meeting someone else if she leaves him, but she is approaching 30 and that does matter.
OP you have waited too long already.
(Closed) Over 3yrs dating, no ring :(
I never gave Darling Husband an ultimatum and we were together 8. Thanks everyone for your input.
I have decided to take time to really focus on my needs and I explained this to my boyfriend solo traveling, exploring my new city, being more active to improve my health — all these things my boyfriend doesnt like to do but I enjoy and he understood. I say April even though my lease ends in June so that I can give myself 2 months to sign a new lease of my own.
I always wanted to do travel nursing and it would be an exciting change in my life. Either way I decided to be happy. Thanks again everyone for your help. An ultimatum is when you make an idle threat in an attempt to control someone.
- (Closed) 5 years of dating, 3.5 years of living together, no ring..
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Hold your head high and make no apologies to the Shut It Up Pact crowd.